(This was originally posted in Dec. 2010 on my Facebook Profile under "Notes." I am re-posting it here as I fully intend to migrate to g+ and then continue to violate the TOS from FB regarding "nudity" in the context of posting breastfeeding photos. :) )
Yesterday, a “friend” posted this in response to an article I shared on my Facebook page, “ ...You can't just tell people that it is wrong to get boys circumcised for the same reasons they will think you are dumb for not getting him vaccinated. Most of us are moms on here and know what the heck we are talking about since we all spend hundreds of hours trying to figure out what is going to be the absolute best for our kids. If you want to leave your son unvaccinated and uncircumcised then that is your decision and no one condemns you for it, but don't not expect others to feel the way they do when you post articles like this one..." (Based on this quote and others this person has left, I believe I am, in fact being condemned for my decisions.)
I want my friends to understand that just because I’ve chosen something for myself or my family, doesn’t mean I’ll condemn you for your choice. Each parent needs to make a decision that they feel is right for his/her family. Some of my friends are very interested in and open to a wide array of information on many of the topics which I regularly share articles on via my Facebook page. Some people disagree with the information contained in the articles while some are wholeheartedly supportive of those same articles. Some of the information I share is anecdotal, some is not. In regards to vaccinations, much of the research I share is anecdotal because it is my opinion that there is a lack of thorough longitudinal research into the side effects of many of the current vaccines. I could go on at length with anyone who is interested in the research I’ve done and why I feel the way I do. In fact, I have friends who can attest that we’ve spoken for hours about research studies which have been done, and those which I believe should be done.
My husband and I have chosen several unconventional paths for our family. We have friends and family who support our decisions and some who do not. With few exceptions, even the people who disagree with our decisions are courteous and give us the liberty, which is our right, as parents to make the decisions we feel are best without rancor. It has been my experience that the exceptions are parents who have made decisions which differ from my own and they feel the need to fervently defend their own position while striking down mine. The biggest difference I see between them and me is that I do not feel the need to defend my positions on these topics. I am willing to do so, but let me be very clear, I do not feel a need to defend my position. I am happy and comfortable with my decisions regardless of how you feel on the matter.
There’s a big difference between openness and acceptance. I am very open to a wide array of information and lifestyle choices. (see: aforementioned unconventional decisions) However, it does not mean I accept just anything. I do, however, try to give my friends the same liberty to live their lives as I ask to live mine; with the freedom to make my own choices free of ridicule. I try to understand my friends’ positions and support and love them even if I wish differently for them. I, of course, feel as though I have made the best decisions possible with the information I have on hand. I am not going to suggest for a moment, though, that I or my decisions are without fault. I believe that would be arrogance beyond belief.
Please know that if you are on my Friends list, it is because I THOUGHT about it. I regularly consider the people I have in my “circle” and if I keep you there, it is because I have some measure of respect for you. Regardless of how much we agree or disagree, I care about you and wish the best for you. I hope that that measure of respect is reciprocated. If you feel differently, if you cannot love me and respect me without condemnation for my choices, then please remove me from your Friends list or do as this person has done and make it abundantly clear that there is a fundamental fissure and I can remove you myself.
well said!
ReplyDelete